Six Flags Magic Mountain is getting a first-of-its-kind roller coaster in 2027, complete with multiple launches, five inversions and an elaborate science-fiction storyline.

And somebody decided to name it Thrill Glider.

Seriously.

Six Flags has revealed the name of its new Vekoma Thrill Glider roller coaster currently under construction near Looney Tunes Land on the site of the former Golden Bear Theater. The attraction will feature 3,380 feet of track, reach a top speed of 50 mph and climb to a maximum height of 107 feet.

Over the course of its 80-second ride, passengers will encounter five inversions: a wing-over, zero-g roll, overbanked stall turn, barrel roll and upward barrel roll.

Those statistics sound intriguing, particularly because this will be the first coaster of its kind.

The name? Not so much.

Who thought Thrill Glider was the answer?

Naming roller coasters isn’t easy. The name has to look good on merchandise, sound good in advertising and, ideally, give guests something memorable to talk about before they ever climb aboard.

Thrill Glider sounds more like the name of the ride model.

Which, of course, it is.

Vekoma calls the innovative ride system its Thrill Glider. Somewhere along the way, Six Flags apparently looked at the manufacturer’s description and decided the naming process was complete.

It raises an important question: Was creativity one of the budget cuts at Six Flags?

Because here’s where things get strange.

Six Flags actually created an elaborate backstory for the coaster — and buried several potentially better names right inside it.

They created QuantumPulse — then chose Thrill Glider

According to the attraction’s storyline, guests will enter The Futurist Pavilion, a showcase for QuantumPulse Propulsion Systems.

The fictional company has discovered a mysterious new energy source known as PSR B417, collected from distant pulsars through hexagonal collectors embedded in the hillside.

Read that again.

We have QuantumPulse Propulsion Systems. Distant pulsars. A mysterious energy source called PSR B417. Futuristic technology. Hexagonal collectors built into a hillside.

And after creating all of that, the coaster is called … Thrill Glider.

How did Quantum Pulse not win the meeting?

That’s the name I would have gone with. It’s short, memorable, directly connected to the attraction’s story and sounds like something worthy of a major new roller coaster at Six Flags Magic Mountain.

And there were plenty of other possibilities sitting there.

Pulsar would have been simple and powerful. Pulse Runner could have connected the energy storyline with the coaster’s movement. Quantum Rush, Pulsar Flight, Quantum Flight and Quantum Surge all sound more like attraction names than ride-system descriptions.

Want something more mysterious? Try Event Horizon, Photon, Starfall or Nova.

Six Flags could even have leaned heavily into its fictional energy source with Velocity: B417, Project B417 or Pulsar One. PulseShift would have provided another modern, futuristic option.

I’m not saying everyone would love those names.

I’m saying there was an entire universe of possibilities between QuantumPulse Propulsion Systems and Thrill Glider.

Fortunately, we’re riding the coaster, not its name

The good news is that a mediocre name doesn’t make a mediocre roller coaster.

Thrill Glider — yes, we’re apparently going to have to get used to saying that — has plenty going for it. A first-of-its-kind ride system, multiple launches and five inversions should make it one of the more intriguing new attractions coming to Southern California in 2027.

And if the finished coaster delivers a great ride, nobody will care what it’s called once they’re aboard.

But I’ll still wonder how a creative team dreamed up The Futurist Pavilion, QuantumPulse Propulsion Systems, PSR B417 and an entire story about harvesting energy from distant pulsars — only to get to the top of the attraction concept sheet and type two words:

Thrill Glider.

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(Photos Six Flags Magic Mountain)